I was writing my weekly newsletter today, which was about controlling worries and I found myself opening up about my struggle with Back to School 2020 and how it is not a normal year which in turn gives us some not-so-normal feelings. I feel so strongly about opening up communication about this that I want to share part of my email insights with you.
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The Worry of Back to School 2020
Things have been a bit anxious around here with school starting back in a few weeks. I have had many sleepless nights. These sleepless nights started back in June while making our daughters IIP goals for the 2020-2021 school year. The ‘not knowing’ what the future will bring left a lot of indecision on my plate.
If you have taken the Empowered self-awareness course or know me personally you have heard our story about our daughter’s health struggles.
In short, we have had our share of medical issues and faced much uncertainty about whether our daughter would survive or not, what decisions were the best and the ones that went so very wrong.
Our little one has come a long way but we still face health issues, none of which the doctors theorize would put her at a higher risk of contracting the 2020 illness brought on by the pandemic.
After all the mistakes that happened with the girls’ health and the struggles we still have today it is hard for us not to worry.
Making the decision about back to school 2020 felt like I was back in time choosing to allow them to operate or not, all over again. Geesh, I just got tears writing that.
Ironically, this fits in so well with what we have been talking about the past few weeks in my weekly newsletter and on the blog.
It speaks to the past worries that can sneak up and take away the present moment we are trying to enjoy.
It speaks about the worries oft what other people will think and if they will judge you. Some will but that is not your problem, you need to focus on you and yours right now. We will talk about this a bit more, so keep reading.
We All Have Worries
I’m human, just like you, I have struggles and I sometimes fall.
I have learned many ways to get back up again. And every day I feel myself grow in one way or another.
But I’m just like you!
Our worries may vary and we may worry about Back To School 2020 in completely different ways.
- Some parents are worried that Back To School will not happen and that they will need to find additional child care,
- some parents have the worry of losing their jobs if they can not find placement for their child(ren),
- others are worried the economy will crash.
- And some, including me, worry what back to school 2020 means for our child’s wellbeing.
The last of these worries is present on a lot of parents minds and it may be entangled with the other worries on the list as well. Many on this list affect my family too and mean some major adjustments for all of us.
I’m a planner, and I love to have control. Even a tiny morsel of control, can turn how the situation affects me completely around. So how can I find that morsel to help me cope?
I needed to weigh the pros and the cons. I needed to take my families thoughts and feelings into account, yes even the children because ultimately this affects their entire lives.
Back To School 2020 Is NOT a NORMAL Year
Recently our province decided they wanted the back to school 2020 to be as normal as possible for kids returning this fall.
2020 is not a normal year!
No matter who you are and what you believe I’m sure we can all agree this year has been nothing but normal.
It will go down in the history books because this has been a worldwide domino effect of change. This has been the wildest year of many of our lives and I have been through some crazy shit but 2020 takes the cake.
We have spent the past few months following guidelines in order to keep others safe. Many of these guidelines are still in place depending where you live in this world.
We have been conditioned to these guidelines with repetition and practice. And now we are facing change yet again.
Change can be hella scary.
Change can make you freak the fuck out and question everything you believe. Change can invoke fear.
But change can also be a good thing. A new beginning, a chance to reassess our goals and to focus on what really matters to us.
Never in a million years would I imagine back to school 2020 like this
Yesterday my husband and I decided we would give homeschooling a try so I enrolled our three girls in a Saskatchewan based long-distance school.
My only experience with homeschooling comes from this spring when our schools closed and this not-so-normal year began. It was an absolute disaster and we faced failure through and through.
I had a breakdown at least once a week, my children rebelled and tore up schoolwork or hid from me in order to get out of it. I loathed the responsibility and I despised not knowing what in the ever-loving-gosh I was doing. It was NOT a success!
As I mentioned, in June we sat down with our school and devised a plan to help our twin girls get the best of the 2020-2021 school year as much as possible.
A plan that involved many people and many moving parts for their best chance at success. Knowing the work that went into this plan made my decision that much more difficult to make.
What would they think of me for throwing away all the hard work they put into this plan?
The decision to homeschool was extremely difficult to make, this means losing the extra supports we all worked so hard to bring to the table and organize for our daughters.
This means letting down those teachers. Those teachers we respect and value.
This means many things need to change for our entire family yet again.
So why do I think Back To School 2020 Home Based Education will be any better?
I’m extremely goal orientated and I thrive on having a plan. A clear concise plan that allows me to think about the future obstacles that I can prepare for.
I like to have the ability to control what I can control. And to know what I can not.
The not knowing what our plan will be was eating me alive. It was the reason I could not sleep at night, the reason I cried sporadically throughout the day.
The beauty of our spring failure of homeschooling teaches me many things when I sit down and reassess it.
I know what went wrong and I know what did NOT work for us. Knowing each and every one of those obstacles helps me to build a better foundation for future attempts. This is essential when setting goals!
Are we still going to hit snags and face failure? YES!!!! And then we will reassess and pick our butts up to try again!
I’m completely excited to have a plan and something we can all work on as a goal together.
Best of all, the girls are extremely excited too! We have already started to plan some field trips and other fun ideas we can do safely together as a family.
I see so much goodness that can come from this.
I’m truly blessed that our construction business can still go on full speed ahead with my husband at the forefront. I’m blessed that I have the ability to work from home during these difficult times and I can alter my hours as needed. We are truly blessed to have found a helpful group on Facebook filled with teachers and parents that really just want safe schools in Saskatchewan, whatever that may mean for you and your family.
Choosing to Homeschool? Check Out These Planners!
Day Designer® 2020-21 Academic Year Planner
Respecting Others Back to School 2020 Plan
I have seen a lot of backlash towards parents about school this fall. It really breaks my heart to see such anger over things that people should be reuniting over and respecting other’s decisions on.
I, myself, faced some nasty backlash. I’m strong enough to know it does not matter what others say I can or can not do. I’m confident enough to know who I am as a mother. I find myself writing this because I know not everyone is at that place, yet! I hope this helps those of you afraid of judgement to stand by your decision in a healthy way.
We are all different, we have all had our own experiences and we all have different thought processes because of it.
I have watched my daughter struggle to live and although she may not be at greater risk than the average person, I’m making a choice that will help me sleep better at night. A choice that allows me to live in the present and focus on my family and what really matters to me deep inside.
Sacrifices will be made in our home but peace of mind let me know I’m okay with that.
Your decision may be worlds apart from mine and I respect you and I respect your decision. You are doing what is best for you and for your family. I wish you nothing but the absolute best.
In a world so torn apart right now, we must remember that no two stories are alike, no two paths of life are the same. This is what makes the world so beautiful if we choose to let it.
Please, let’s all remember to be kind and supportive. This is difficult for everyone.
Wrapping up back to school 2020 the not-so-normal year?
Have you made a decision for your family? Has this post helped you figure out how to decide? Have you been able to gain insight to help with future differing opinions? Let me know in the comments.
If you have been contemplating back to school in a home-based way there are many great resources out there that may help. I chose a program that has a set curriculum because it is what best suits our needs.
If you want a more hands-on approach check out some homeschooling resources such as Valerie Fowler Writes or do a quick google search.
I hope, if nothing else, this post helps us to accept that everyone has worries, and fears that may differ from our own but in the end we are all only human.
We all make decisions based on the knowledge and experiences we have to the best of our ability. Remember to love, support and respect one another!
Take care and chat soon;
Living A Boss Life