We all have good and bad relationships in our lives. They affect our confidence in one way or another.
Sometimes we have toxic relationships that bring us down. On the flip side, we also have relationships that build us up.
Therefore, we have relationships that affect our confidence one way or another, good or bad, negatively or positively, empowering or sabotaging.
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How your relationships are affecting your confidence
Knowing how our relationships affect our confidence is the key to living a happier more confident life. Good healthy relationships are the number one way to practice self-care.
If we allow our lives to be filled with toxic people who are not happy themselves we will never find true happiness and we will always second guess our decisions.
We will not find clarity and we will lose ourselves to the overwhelm of negative thinking and feel like an imposter.
I work with women to help them reach the point in their lives where they can feel truly confident, happy in their life, mindful each day and reach their full potential.
It is vital to know which relationships bring us the most pleasure and which relationships affect our confidence in the most empowering way. Those are the relationships we need to build.
You can learn more about eliminating toxic relationships here.
There are a few ways to evaluate which people in your life affect your confidence for the good.
Ask yourself a few questions to find your confidence-boosting relationships.
- Who are the people in your life that make you feel inspired?
- Which people bring you up when you feel down?
- Which people are negative and bring you down when you are feeling good?
- Who do you talk to that leaves a smile on your face at the end of the conversation?
- Who can you share your dreams and goals with without worrying about scrutiny?
- Who do you feel you help build up when they feel down?
- Which relationships feel the most empowering to you?
Assess The Relationship
The next time you are in conversation with the people in your life really focus on these questions. Dig deep to see how you feel after the conversation and before the conversation. Was the outcome a beneficial one or a negative one? Did it stir up positive emotions or negative emotions?
For the best results evaluate the relationship this way 3-5 times to get a better understanding. Sometimes people are having a hard time themselves and can not get out of it, are you able to help get them out of that funk? Or is it a constant negative experience?
4 Types of Relationships In Our Lives That Affect Our Confidence
Your Significant Other Relationship and Confidence
By far our chosen relationships with our significant others are probably the most important relationship choice we will ever make. After all, this is one of the first relationships we choose to build and we choose whether or not they will become a part of our family.
If your relationship with your partner is abusive whether it be physically, mentally, sexually or verbally your confidence is going to get hit hard. the longer you stay in this relationship the harder it will be to leave. Sometimes these relationships destroy other relationships in our lives as well.
A supportive partner can help empower us to keep trying new things and moving forward. Support should run both ways in a relationship.
If you find yourself in an abusive relationship please seek help from someone. Whether it be someone you trust or an advocacy to help remove you from that toxic relationship.
Choosing relationships in your family that affect your confidence for the better
Who in your family gets you, accepts you and truly wants what is best for you?
This can easily get skewed with constant criticism from those who you believe wants the best for you.
They may portray themselves as loving and caring but their constant criticism brings you down or causes you to doubt yourself.
You may feel like an imposter when you want to try something new and exciting and they spread doubt into your mind.
- Which people in your family do you feel the strongest connection with?
- Which family member do you get excited to see?
- Which family members jump on board all of your crazy ideas and support you no matter what?
- Which family members give you insights to get closer to your dreams?
- Do you value their opinions or do you resent their advice?
The most important relationships in our families should be the supportive ones. You are allowed to distanc eyourself form the naysayers and the ones who bring you down.
You do not have to allow family to hinder your success and your happiness. In case you need to hear this: It is OK to let go of relationships that hurt you even if they are family!
Friendships affect your confidence
A family does not have to be blood in fact some of my closest “family” members are people who have supported me during the toughest challenges of my life and we are not bonded by blood but rather by love.
There were times when I made decisions that others thought were those of a madwoman and yet these love bonded relationships supported me and understood me even if I sometimes felt irrational myself. Even when I felt like an imposter!
Some of the greatest relationships in my life are those who some would call friends but I consider my family. These people are in my corner fighting for my success, they believe in me and they encourage me. They see great success in my smallest successes.
They reinforce my strengths and build my confidence. They eliminate self-doubts and help me to stop imposter syndrome from seeping in.
Most importantly, I do this for them as well. The most empowering relationships are those that give and receive mutually. Always remember to give back in your relationships too.
If your friends are always pointing out your flaws or sound like you inner critic and giving you negative thoughts, then those are not the relationships you need to focus on growing in your life.
See more about how not to care what other people think here.
Grow the friendships that make your heart feel full, grow the relationships that empower you positively!
Keep in mind that sometimes we do hear what we do not want to hear from our best of friends and our closest of family. Knowing whether this is a negative attack or constructive criticism can be difficult.
Sometimes we need to look at the whole picture of the relationship rather than the small picture to see if this is an empowering relationship or a toxic one.
Utilizing mentors, coaches and role models for confidence
The relationships that affect our confidence might also be people we see as mentors and role models. Knowing which of these people we genuinely look up to can help us to build our confidence as well.
Choosing a role model that does not have the same values and goals does not always benefit us.
- Who is that you look up to?
- Why do you look up to them?
- Why are you proud of what they have done?
What to look for in a role model or mentor:
- Look for someone who has walked down the path you wish to take. Be sure they are further down the path than you are currently.
- Look for someone who motivates and inspires you. Even if they are doing something entirely different than you if you feel drawn and inspired add them to your inspirational role models.
- Look for someone you want to become more like in some way. These are the ones you want to follow in their footsteps and surpass someday.
- It is ok to choose a role model who has passed, in fact, these might be easier to follow since they are written in the history books and their story has already been written with a start and an end.
If you are choosing a coach to help you, they need to be someone you respect and feel a connection with. If you discover they are making your confidence sway they may not be the right fit for you.
We all have different values and different views on life. Finding someone who has the same values and views that you want to build in life is essential for it to be a healthy relationship.
Healthy relationships that affect your confidence are the best
Significant others, family, friends and role models are all relationships that affect our confidence.
Make sure they are vital, empowering relationships that help you to grow and embrace success.
Lean on them when you feel down. Seek them out when you hit a roadblock. Allow them to be a part of your life and tell them how much you value them.
After all, we build ourselves up by building up others.
We are in control of who we choose to be a part of our lives, choose the healthy relationships that empower your confidence and growth.
It is your choice and you deserve the best!
Want to learn more about becoming a more confident you? Check out our confidence self-assessment and The Confidence Builder Workbook & Guide!
Take care and chat soon;
Living A Boss Life