Striving to be happy in life takes a lot of work and like building all healthy habits we must start small and work our way up adding them into our lives one by one over time. If you want happiness the simplest way to gain it is to start by doing one thing that makes you happy… right now and every day!
There is this flawed sense of happiness that people have and it can be extremely limiting. I have been guilty of it too. We believe that happiness is a state that we get when we reach a certain level of achievement or status in our lives. That we must reach some specific milestone in order to discover happiness. We do not necessarily see ourselves being truly happy until later down the road.
However, happiness is a state of mind that you can have right now!
You do not need to wait until perfection, you do not need to wait until you have conquered your number one life goal.
The time to be happy is dependant on YOU right now and what you do today, not what you will do tomorrow and not what you do 10 years down the road. What makes you happy is right here and right now!
Hi, I’m Jenn Summers! I’m a goal strategist life coach who helps empower women through building confidence, finding clarity and (re)discovering their happiness.
Living happily in the present
When we live in the present and learn not to take each day for granted we are able to appreciate it so much more. If we focus on the past and on the future we can not truly enjoy the present moment we are in and that is a truly heartbreaking travesty.
Living in the present has many benefits that can keep us focused on the here and now and help us to control our fears and worries. Most fears and worries are about things that can or will happen once you do something so they are the future, no one can control the future so it has no merit on how you feel right now if you do not let it.
You can learn about eliminating fears and worries in these posts:
- 4 things to stop worrying about
- stop worrying what other people think
- how to eliminate negative thinking
- or this mini-course staying positive
When we suffer with depression, anxiety and stress it can wreak havoc on our ability to focus on the happy things and the good things.
How to be happy when coping with Depression, Anxiety & Stress
First of all, I’m not a doctor or a phycologist, my experience with depression, anxiety and stress comes from personal experience in my own life and from those I have witnessed/supported around me.
There were days when I did not want to get out of bed when all I could see were negative outcomes throughout the day that waited for my feet to hit the floor, or as soon as I opened my eyes.
I was exhausted and overwhelmed and I felt like an imposter and a failure.
Life shouldn’t be this hard. I’m tired of fighting for everything. Life is not fair. Why does this always happen to me? If I didn’t have bad luck I would have no luck at all. I want to crawl in a hole and hide. I hate my life.
My inner hardass critic says it sounds like a pity party when I read it now. But let me tell you, life truly was hell. Every time we overcame an obstacle something bigger would slam me in the face, and I would need to get back up again. I was tired and I could not see any positive and when I did it would get shattered.
There was a time where I lived on adrenaline and nothing but. When that adrenaline left me I had no idea what I was supposed to feel and how I was supposed to cope. Without this constant fight response going on off in my head I was lost. Now, what the hell am I supposed to do?
After over a year of these adrenaline focused days of living, I was now left in this pile of un-dealt with emotions and full responsibility.
You can read more in the Mom imposter post here.
I didn’t figure it out quickly and it sure the hell did not happen over night.
But slowly through trial and error I started to find my way through it.
Like I said it doesn’t come easily but it comes with practice and repetition.
Oh my gosh, so many errors. Sometimes I think if I only knew this 10 years ago things would be so different. If I had the chance to write myself a letter I know exactly what I would say:
Dear Jenn, from 10 years ago.
STOP right now. Just stop.
Take a deep breath and don’t think about anything.
Can you do that? Are you ready?
Ok here is the secret to being happy. Think happy!
I swear to God, the key to happiness is changing your mind. It sounds simple and it sounds crazy but it is the truth!
It’s hard work, and it might start out as playing it up in your own mind but it truly works.
You are not going to find happiness tomorrow if you don’t find happiness in you today!
Please do this for you. I love you so much, do this for us!Love your guts; Jenn from 2020
If you find yourself severely depressed, having thoughts of suicide, self-harm or harming others, please reach out to a medical professional for guidance and help. This post in no way is a replacement for the guidance of a doctor or mental health professional. This post is part of my path to happiness overcoming depression, anxiety, and stress.
What makes you happy?
Dig deep about what makes you excited, what makes you inspired, what makes you smile and feel joy.
They can be small things or they can be big things, as long as they bring you happiness.
Doing a gratitude brain dump is also an amazing way to focus on the positive things in life. Also, check out my 37 gratitude affirmations here to get you inspired!
What makes you happy- brain dump directions
Get yourself in a good state, ensure you have some time to do the activity without feeling rushed. Choose a time when you are not overly stressed and feel some piece of calm if at all possible.
Set a timer for 5 minutes. Right now is as good as time as any.
On a piece of paper write down your favourite things to do. Write them down quickly, try not to think about it too much, just write quickly.
Do not worry about neatness, spelling or writing the same thing or things that do not make sense. Just get down as many as you can.
Let the inspiration flow through you as you write. Let each idea inspire the next idea.
What makes you happy brain dump example:
- clean house
- fresh sheets
- birds chirping
- going for a walk
- coffee with a friend
- calling a friend
- visiting a friend
- road trip
- car drive
- bike ride
Do you kind of see where my mind went from one to the next? Each thought inspired the next one once I got rolling and that is a great way to know that you are on the right path to a successful brain dump. It may take a few tries but you will get it. There is no right or wrong way to do this. It should be a fun activity and not cause you stress or anxiety.
Just find the thing(s) that makes you happy and do it (them) every day!
You deserve to feel happy every day and taking action is a great way to ensure you meet your happiness needs.
Choose things that truly make YOU happy not what other people think should make you happy. What truly makes you happy is not what makes someone else happy.
If you are struggling with limiting beliefs please check out our free 5 lesson course to help you empower your growth mindset. I believe this course provides the perfect foundation for building an empowered self and I want everyone to have these basic important skills for a better life therefore it is my gift to you now and forever.
Do 1 thing every day that makes you happy!
Seriously, EVERY SINGLE DAY do 1 thing that makes you happy!
At least one thing that truly brings you joy.
If you struggle to get out of bed in the morning then the night before think of one thing you can do first thing in the morning that will make you happy.
- Listening to your favourite song
- Calling your best friend
- Eating glorious chocolate
- Taking a walk
- Getting in a workout
- Maybe a favourite food?
Whatever it is do it! Get excited about it, look forward to it.
Put it in your planner, text yourself, write it on paper, write it with lipstick on your mirror!
It doesn’t matter how you need to remind yourself, just do it!
Start your day off or end it with one thing that makes you happy!
My Nighttime/morning duo one thing that makes me happy
I love coffee, every night I set my coffee up to brew at 4 am and I feel this little burst of excitement, I think of the smell the taste and the peace and quiet I will enjoy at 4 am. It makes me happy with anticipation.
4 am I hear the coffee machine brew and know what awaits me and I jump out of bed and head to my office to get started with my day. No alarm clock needed, no dragging myself out of bed.
Coffee, that is it. Allowing the coffee to be my happy moment start to the day, that simple. It is my choice of what makes me happy just like it is your choice what makes you happy. You choose!
I’m a happiness absorber in the morning, to be honest. My mornings are spent doing a lot of things that make me happy.
I take time to write, to get creative, enjoy the peace and quiet, shower, listen to music or inspirational music, meditation, audiobooks, maybe a quick chat with a family member or friend.
I do a lot of things that make me happy all before 9 am. That does not make me selfish or greedy. Learning that can be challenging check out my stress-relief post here to learn how to relax and do things for you without guilt!
If it makes you happy… do it!
If it makes you happy, truly happy, then just do it. Don’t lie to yourself, don’t follow what others think should make you happy. Find what makes you happy and start with it. It does not matter how small just do it. Once you find something you choose to make you happy you will discover more things that make you happy too.
I hope you enjoyed this post and have chosen to do one thing every day that makes you happy. Focusing on your present and your happiness is a great way to practice self-care and to relieve stress and anxiety.
Knowing that living in the here and now and not the past or future is the only thing we can control helps open our mind and heart to being happy.
Coping with depression, anxiety and stress can make it extremely difficult to focus on happiness but we can not get unstuck without finding something that makes us happy every day to help pull us away from the feelings of defeat, despair and depression.
Once we are able to find our happiness and see how changing our minds is the key to it all, it seems so crazy simple it will blow your mind. What would you tell your younger self? Do you ever write a note to your younger self or maybe your future self? Psst, notes to our future selves are great for goals! Notes to our past selves acknowledge our growth.
You have come up with an amazing list of things that make you happy! If you haven’t yet get on that brain dump activity and take action now! Then get the thing(s) that makes you happy into your day- at least one thing every day!
Find your inner happiness!
Take care and chat soon;
Living A Boss Life