We have all experienced bad situations in our lives, some we forget and some we remember. Unfortunately, the ones we remember can cause us a lot of pain, discouragement and lasting effects. Today we are focusing on changing a bad experience to an empowering experience with this #1 proven strategy. Let’s talk about perception!
Hi, I’m your coach Jenn Summers! I’m the owner of LivingABossLife.com & The Living A Boss Life Tribe Academy where you can find all of our resources and courses. Helping you live confidently, happily and with clarity. Love your guts!
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Have you heard of perception?
Perception is how we view something in our mind it is based on our belief system. We all have different perceptions because we all have different belief systems. Our belief systems are built up from past experiences, past influences and past environments. Perception really is all in the eyes of the beholder.
Did you know you could change your perception?
Changing our perceptions is not a myth but it does require hard work and it takes time. It is not something that can be done overnight but it is completely possible to change your negative perceptions to more empowering ones.
Its all about choice and choosing to change your mind!
Changing your mind sounds simple, right?
Countless times each day we have to make a choice. Many choices are monotonous and considered unimportant.
Should we have a healthy homemade salad for lunch or a cheeseburger from the fast-food joint down the street? We decide and we choose one way or another.
But do you think about these decisions? Like really think about them.
If I were to say should I make a salad or order out? Our minds might say I don’t want to spend my time preparing food I want to satisfy my hunger right now!
But what if we paused and really thought about it. How long will it really take me? Will there be enough leftover salad for a side dish for the next meal? What is healthier? What will benefit me in the long run?
Ok, so I took that mindless decision and totally went deep with it and your like ‘whoa that’s a bit over the top’ but it is to prove a point, my dear friend.
Our minds are full of little perceptions and little voices in our head influencing our choices.
We choose whether an experience makes us feel bad or makes us feel good. No one else decides but ourselves. We may allow others to influence our feelings and that can be toxic or empowering all in itself.
So, you had a bad day
You know those days when you wake up and you just feel a tiny bit off, the days where it takes a bit longer to get out of bed, the coffee is just not quite right.
You try to keep motivated and then the power goes out. You can’t shower to wake yourself up and your mood shifts a bit more.
Then you can’t find your keys because you realize you running behind and you start to panic. Then you hit traffic because you didn’t leave on time and it is now rush hour. Then your normal parking space is gone because you are late.
Boom, you are frazzled, you are stressed, and your anxiety is high. Rightfully so. Your whole routine went out the window and you lost control.
By the end of the day, you are exhausted and stressed. You come home to a surprise dinner but you are not hungry because your stomach has been in a knot all day. Your significant other is offended because you push your food around the plate and don’t make conversation with them.
They feel taken for granted and before you know it they are in a bad mood too. Your negativity influenced them negatively too.
You go to bed upset and in the morning you wake up tired and feeling guilty and angry.
That one bad day turns into another and then another and then another.
Memories of things that pissed you off in the past rear their ugly head and your significant other and you fight and your relationship begins to decline. In a year, you feel the love you once shared start to dwindle and by then it may be too late.
This all started because the power went out?
Groundhogs day remix: Perception change.
You wake up in the morning feeling sluggish and a bit off. Before you get up you tell yourself that you are enough and that today’s going to be a great day. The coffee is a bit off so you add some cream to make do. You open the window and listen to the birds singing.
The power goes out so you forgo your shower and slip on your clothes, do your hair in a bun and take some deep breathes because you know you have got this.
You grab your keys on the counter where you left them the night before and head out the door.
Traffic is nuts, so you turn up the music and sing your heart out. You take it in stride.
You know your parking spot will be taken so you find another and enjoy the extra little walk in the fresh air.
You arrive late for work but notice others are late too because of the power outage. You breathe a sigh of relief and slip into the day’s work routine.
That evening you drive home from work feeling proud of what you accomplished despite the challenges.
You open the door to be surprised by the smells of a delicious supper provided by your significant other. You are famished and devour your meal while talking about your day and all the craziness you overcame. You listen to each other and enjoy each other’s company.
You go to be bed happy and wake up refreshed and recharged.
This day goes great and the next, a year from now you don’t remember the power going out you remember the beautiful evening with your significant other and feel confident in your relationship. Your love continues to grow and you empower each other through ups and downs.
Looking into perception
The power went out in both of these situations the only difference between the two is that you knew you had a choice. A choice to choose to focus on what you can control and to let go of what you can not control.
Controlling our feelings changes our perception and it changes the outcomes.
Every feeling has a cause and an effect.
Feeling anxious can cause you a multitude of symptoms from headaches to stomach aches. Feeling stressed can invoke feelings of resentment and anger.
Feeling positive can empower us to stay motivated, to find a solution, to keep calm and to power on. Finding happiness and enjoying the little things can turn a bad situation into a positive situation.
Embrace the perception of past experiences
Changing your mindset is key to achieving your goals and perception is one of the keys to unlocking that change.
How do you react when something bad happens? It is human nature to feel disappointment, regret and sometimes despair. The key to overcoming that obstacle is having the ability to find the silver lining in it. Remember it is the little things that create the big picture.
Grab out your journal or get a pen and paper. Let’s do an activity together.
I want you to look back at a situation where you felt that you failed. A situation where you did not get what you wanted.
Write down a description of the situation.
Just a short description that will you help remember what it was in the future. A sentence or two is all you need.
Ask yourself these questions:
What was the exact outcome?
Can you picture it in your mind?
What were the feelings you felt?
How did you react?
What did you do?
How did your reaction make you feel?
Get more descriptive and detailed
Add more details about the experience in your journal. Use as much description as you need to really feel the situation again and visualize it in your mind.
Use our future eyes
Now, take a few deep breaths and look at the situation as though you are looking through your future selfs eyes. Disconnect yourself from the situation.
Disconnected? Ok, Next step.
Are you able to see something good that has come from the situation?
Was there anything you learnt from the experience?
What could you take from that situation to help change the outcome in the future?
What personal traits may you have developed from the experience?
Write down every little thing you can think of, no matter how small it may seem.
Reinforce the positive perception
Now every day for the next week I want you to think of this situation and the beautiful silver lining that came from it. Go back to your journal if you need to. Focus only on the good that came from the situation.
Now let’s change your mindset for good about this situation!
In your journal, each day for the next 7 days, write down one of the good things that came from the situation. Remember to praise yourself for the ways you grew and got through it.
A simple change in our mindset of viewing these “failures” as “learning” experiences helps us to grow and move forward. If you keep moving forward and LEARNING, you are not failing!
YOU have the power to take any situation and turn it into a positive learning experience!
You have the control!
Were you able to change your perception?
Now you might be reading this thinking I haven’t had a chance to try yet, but what about other experiences what have you overcome because you refused to let others bring you down. Because you refused to let our inner critic be negative? What situations have you changed with a positive perception?
Those experiences need to be remembered so that you can build your confidence in changing future perceptions. To learn more about changing your mind check out our Complimentary Empowering Self-Awareness Course
Remember you have got this! Believe in yourself!
Take care and chat soon
Living A Boss Life