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Being in a relationship takes a lot of work if you don’t believe that then you really need to read this article. We are going over the 5 most common limiting beliefs destroying relationships every day. These toxic beliefs are often overlooked and accepted in our society, you might be surprised to learn some of these bad habits ruining your relationships.

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What are toxic beliefs AKA Limiting Beliefs?

Toxic beliefs are opinions or thoughts that we have and believe to be true. We learn them through the environment and by experience. They are often imposed on us in our childhood and we may not even realize it. These are beliefs that we believe to be true and they affect us in a way that limits ourselves and our potential.

Please note that not all of these limiting beliefs need to have come through your own experience, you may have witnessed things happening to others or you may have heard about it second hand. These experiences are still influential and may be toxic.

Rekindle your relationships and find your spark again by eliminating these 5 toxic beliefs that are hurting your relationship. Some of these beliefs will shock you and you might not even realize how much they are affecting your relationships. Use our tool to eliminate and help build a happier, stronger, healthier relationship. #Relationships #Love #Rekindle #LimitingBeliefs #HowToSaveYourRelationship #HealthyRelationships #SupportingOneAnother #BuildingRelationships

How do toxic beliefs affect our relationships?

Some of these toxic beliefs that we have in our minds can set our relationships up for failure before they even begin. We may already have an anticipated outcome for the relationship in our subconscious mind.

Let’s look at a toxic belief that can easily be seen as limiting and causing issues in relationships: Infidelity

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Perhaps your parents’ relationship was destroyed by infidelity or you may have experienced it yourself firsthand, going into your next relationship or one down the road you may experience feelings of fear of infidelity. This fear can cause a substantial amount of withdrawal and problems with trust.

Therefore you may have a toxic belief that all relationships end in heartache and pain, or that everyone cheats etc. This example is pretty clear and unfortunately quite common. How many times do you see this happen in the movies or on a sitcom? Society has a knack for normalizing a lot of these toxic beliefs so that become almost acceptable, natural behaviours.

If you would like to read about toxic relationships I suggest you check out our article on How to identify toxic people in your life.

5 Toxic Beliefs Destroying Your Relationships That You Need To Get Rid Of Right Now To Rekindle Your Relationship!

Toxic Belief #1: It’s normal to yell at your partner

Do you find truth in this statement? Unfortunately, this is one that I believed to be true. I grew up in a household that yelled when things got heated. As children, we were yelled at and we witnessed a lot of yelling between our parents and other family members. Naturally, this became something I believed to be true for all relationships.

Quite honestly this was something I believed until not too long ago. This limiting belief does not just stem from my childhood, in fact, most of society promotes this as a natural behaviour. During the holidays we see many memes about family fights and arguments. It has become something we believe to be true.

However, if you were to talk to others about this toxic belief you may discover that it is not true and is in fact a limiting belief that could be destroying your relationships. It wasn’t until I told a friend about our “family fights” growing up that I realized how unnatural this was and began to do some research on relationships.

If yelling is something you believe to be a natural part of relationships then try asking a few people outside of your family if this is the case for them. Gather some feedback and do some research about communication to help you reframe this thinking.

Toxic Belief #2: My parents’ relationship has no influence on mine

Gosh, if this were true the world would be a much different place. We must remember that we are influenced by what we see and that we learn from others’ actions and our own reactions. Our earliest relationships form many of our beliefs in the future and whether we want to or not we tend to hold onto them.

If you grew up in a home where your parents supported each other equally and showed affection openly you are more likely to feel comfortable showing affection to your partner and being supportive.

However, if your parents never openly showed affection to their partner or to you as a child you may find it uncomfortable holding hands or kissing in public. It may be a challenge to be supportive when your partner is faced with a roadblock.

Toxic Belief #3: The right relationships are naturally easy

This toxic belief can make even the most well-suited partners allow their relationships to fall apart and go their own separate ways. Relationships are not easy, even the most perfect relationships require work and consistency from both partners. We all face roadblocks in our lives and we all need a support system. In order for relationships to thrive, we must support each other through those tough times.

Most times once we come out of those tough sticky situations we come out a lot stronger on the other side if we are supportive of one another.

Remember that even the best relationships can deteriorate if we stop putting effort into keeping them whole.

My husband and I have gone through a lot of struggles and I have seen both sides of this realm thankfully we have chosen to support each other more often than not. However, there were times when anger for “stupid mistakes” stopped that support and the relationship were at a breaking point, it wasn’t until support became the goal that we were able to work together and fix the problems as one.

Toxic Belief #4: My relationship is struggling because my partner is not my soulmate

The toxic belief of relationships being struggle free can have many different perspectives. I believe this stems from Hollywood. We see these romances on the big screen that are perfect and love at first sight and we are coaxed to believe that there is someone perfect out there if you just wait long enough or keep searching for the one.

What we need to know is that our relationships are what we make of them and are developed by what we put into them. Many times we may feel what people call the honeymoon phase and then the flame begins to dwindle as we settle into our new life.

If we compare our partnerships to raising a child we can gain some insight. Once a baby is born we know that we must feed them and change them and bathe them and rock them. As they grow into toddlers we know that we must teach them to feed themselves, to walk and to potty train. We continue to teach them how to do things and to gain independence we know that we must keep teaching them. They go to school and learn from others and get trained for their first jobs and there are many shifts and much learning.

If we put that same learning and teaching and growth into our relationships then we can grow stronger and nurture the love that is between us. We can reignite the flame in new more powerful ways. We must be open to learning new ways to empower our partnerships in a healthy way just as we empower our children to learn and grow.

Toxic Belief #5: It is all my partner’s fault

Placing blame on our partner can be easier than looking into the steps that caused the issue within the relationship. We have all heard the saying it takes two to tango and well when things go wrong it is not always one person’s fault. Communication is key to helping build strong relationships and having an influence on decisions that may ultimately destroy our relationship if we were to keep quiet.

The silent treatment may seem to be a good idea in the beginning but if you find you are going days without communicating to your partner and you are stewing with anger it is doing no one any good.

In my articles, how to stop worrying about what other people think, and how to stop overthinking everything, I discuss how our minds can get away from us and we begin to tell ourselves what others are thinking and before we know it we have a full story built up in our minds and we have our inner warrior in defence mode.

To prove this, think of a time when you had to face something you were sure was going to be a confrontational moment to ultimately find out that you were building it up from nothing and the situation ended amicably. This type of situation can happen a lot in our close personal partnerships.

Rekindle your relationship by eliminating these 5 toxic beliefs. We all have a belief system that can hinder our relationships or make them grow stronger, find out if these toxic beliefs are hindering your love. #Relationships #Love #Rekindle #LimitingBeliefs #HowToSaveYourRelationship #HealthyRelationships #SupportingOneAnother #BuildingRelationships

Rekindle Your Relationship By Eliminating These 5 Toxic Beliefs Right Now

These 5 toxic beliefs hindering your relationship that we discussed today are limiting beliefs that we need to disintegrate and reformulate in order to have a healthy, strong, loving partnership.

The best way to destroy limiting beliefs is to prove them wrong and the easiest way to prove them wrong is to find evidence more powerful than the “facts” that we used to create the toxic belief in the first place.

The best method to do this is to write down the limiting belief you are ready to prove wrong plus 3-5 reasons why you believe it to be true. For each reason why you believe the toxic belief, you need to find one piece of evidence that proves the opposite or proves it wrong. I suggest adding 1-3 additional proofs that prove it to be wrong just for some extra value to help it stick.

Let’s look at an example of one of these limiting beliefs being proven wrong.

Disproving: It’s normal to yell at your partner.

Why you believe it to be true:

  1. My parents always yell.
  2. My relatives yell at each other.
  3. Everyone I know yells so everyone does.
  4. I have yelled in my relationship and we are still together.
  5. Couples in movies yell and makeup.

Now let’s find proof that it is not normal to yell at your partner:

  1. My parents always yell
    1. My parents divorced.
    2. My parent’s relationship was not happy.
    3. It scared me when they yelled.
  2. My relatives yell at each other.
    1. Holidays were often filled with arguments.
    2. I asked three people and their families did not yell.
    3. I read an article on healthy relationships and communication.
  3. Everyone I know yells so everyone does.
    1. I carefully thought of relationships in my life and found an example of someone who does not yell.
    2. I found a book about using strategies instead of yelling.
    3. I enrolled in a course to help me stop yelling at my kids. highly recommend this course, it’s changing my life as a parent.
  4. I have yelled in my relationship and we are still together.
    1. After fighting it has taken some time to get back to normal and feel good about our relationship.
    2. Our yelling makes me feel bad inside and out.
    3. There are better ways of communication to help our relationship grow.
  5. Couples in movies yell and makeup.
    1. It is not as romantic as they make it seem in the movies instead it makes me feel bad.
    2. It is a fictional movie played by characters and not real life.
    3. The makeup part does not happen in our relationship like in the movies therefore it is not realistic and something to aspire for.
  6. There are better ways to communicate my dissatisfaction with an issue in the relationship that we can solve by working together.
  7. Taking a moment to think before I react is something that I can control and use to help the conversation happen in a healthier way.
  8. Seeking marriage counselling helped us before perhaps we should try it again.

Eliminate these 5 toxic beliefs to help rekindle your relationship.

Now that we have gone over the top 5 toxic beliefs destroying relationships, (It’s normal to yell at your partner, My parent’s relationship has no influence on my relationship, The right relationships are naturally easy, My relationship is struggling because my partner is not my soulmate, It is all my partner’s fault) take a look at what you believe to be true. How many of these resonate with you? What other limiting beliefs do you have that are affecting your relationships? Use the activity above to debunk each one as I did with the example.

I hope that you found this article helpful and that you are able to start rekindling your relationship with healthier nurturing beliefs!

Take care and chat soon;

Jenn Summers

Living A Boss Life

Love Your Guts! Take care & Chat soon,

Living A Boss Life Coaching with Jenn Summers. Positive Mental Health & Personal Development 

Jenn Summers

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